Dealing with Strong Emotions

When a mood against someone or for someone arises, do not place it on the person in questions, but remain centred.

If hate arises for someone or against someone, or love arises for someone, what do we do? We project it on the person. If you feel hate toward me, you forget yourself completely in your hate; only I become your object. If you feel love toward me, you forget yourself completely; only I become the object. You project your love or hate or whatsoever upon me. You forget completely the inner centre of your being; the other becomes the centre.

This sutra says when hate arises or love arises, or any mood for or against anyone, do not project it on the person in question. Remember, you are the source of it.

I love you — the ordinary feeling is that you are the source of my love. That is not really so. I am the source; you are just a screen on which I project my love. You are just a screen; I project my love on you and I say that you are the source of my love. This is not fact, this is fiction.

I draw my love energy and project it onto you. In that love energy projected onto you, you become loveable. You may not be loveable to someone else, you may be absolutely repulsive to someone else. Why?

If you are the source of love then everyone will feel loving toward you, but you are not the source.

I project love, then you become loveable; someone projects hate, then you become repulsive. And someone else doesn’t project anything, he is indifferent; he may not even have looked at you.

What is happening? We are projecting our own moods upon others. That is why, if you are on your honeymoon, the moon looks beautiful, miraculous, wonderful. it seems that the whole world is different. And on the same night, just for your neighbour, this miraculous night may not be in existence at all. His child has died — then the same moon is just sad, intolerable. But for you it is enchanting, fascinating; it creates passion. Why? Is the moon the source or is the moon just a screen and you are projecting yourself?

This sutra says, when a mood against someone or for someone arises, do not place it on the person in question — or on the object in question. Remain centred.

Remember that you are the source, so do not move to the other, move to the source. When you feel hate, do not go to the object. Go to the point from where the hate is coming. Go not to the person to whom it is going, but to the centre from where it is coming.

Move to the centre, go within. Use your hate or love or anger or anything as a journey toward your inner centre, to the source. Move to the source and remain centred there. Try it! This is a very, very scientific, psychological technique.

Someone has insulted you — anger suddenly erupts, you are feverish. Anger is flowing toward the person who has insulted you. Now you will project this whole anger onto him. He has not done anything. If he has insulted you, what has he done? He has just pricked you, he has helped your anger to arise — but the anger is yours. If he goes to Buddha and insults him, he will not be able to create any anger in him. Or if he goes to Jesus, Jesus will give him the other cheek. Or if he goes to Bodhidharma, he will roar with laughter. So it depends.

The other is not the source; the source is always within you. The other is hitting the source, but if there is no anger within you it cannot come out. If you hit a Buddha, only compassion will come out because only compassion is there. Anger will not come out because anger is not there.

If you throw a bucket into a dry well, nothing comes out. In a water-filled well, you throw a bucket and water comes out, but the water is from the well. The bucket only helps to bring it out. So one who is insulting you is just throwing a bucket in you, and then the bucket will come out filled with the anger, hate, or fire that was within you.

You are the source, remember.

For this technique, remember that you are the source of everything that you go on projecting onto others. And whenever there is a mood against or for, immediately move within and go to the source from where this hate is coming. Remain centred there; do not move to the object. Someone has given you a chance to be aware of your own anger — thank him immediately and forget him. Close your eyes, move within, and now look at the source from where this love or anger is coming.

From where?

Go within, move within. You will find the source there because the anger is coming from your source. Hate or love or anything is coming from your source.

And it is easy to go to the source at the moment you are angry or in love or in hate, because then you are hot. It is easy to move in then. The wire is hot and you can take it in, you can move inward with that hotness. And when you reach a cool point within, you will suddenly realize a different dimension, a different world opening before you.

Use anger, use hate, use love to go within. We use it always to move to the other, and we feel very much frustrated if no one is there to project upon. Then we go on projecting even on inanimate objects. I have seen persons being angry at their shoes, throwing them in anger. What are they doing? I have seen angry persons pushing a door in anger, throwing their anger on the door, abusing the door, using dirty language against the door. What are they doing?

I will end with one Zen insight about this. One of the greatest of Zen masters, Lin Chi, used to say, “While I was young I was very fascinated by boating. I had one small boat, and I would go on the lake alone. For hours together I would remain there.” Once it happened that with closed eyes I was in my boat meditating on the beautiful night. One empty boat came floating downstream and struck my boat. My eyes were closed, so I thought, ‘Someone is here with his boat, and he has struck my boat.’

Anger arose. I opened my eyes and I was just going to say something to that man in anger, then I realized that the boat was empty. Then there was no way to move. To whom could I express the anger? The boat was empty. It was just floating downstream, and it had come and struck my boat. So there was nothing to do. There was no possibility to project the anger on an empty boat.”

So Lin Chi said, “I closed my eyes. The anger was there, but finding no way out, I closed my eyes and just floated backward with the anger. And that empty boat became my realization. I came to a point within myself in that silent night. That empty boat was my master. And now if someone comes and insults me, I laugh and I say, ‘This boat is also empty.’ I close my eyes and I go within.”

By Teachings of Osho